Monthly Archives: August 2009

Today’s Musings

Mood: Chugging Along

So far today …

Overheard on the bus this morning:

Student #1 from North Sydney Girls: Doesn’t it suck that the teachers are marking down all forms of tardiness as truency?

Student #2 from North Sydney Girls: I know! It does suck! I’ve now got 2 truency reports against my name. I mean, I was like 2 minutes late to class the other day, and I got marked for it. Like, last week, I was 10 minutes late to school because of the stupid bus, and I got marked down. I mean, like, where did they think I was? I was on my way to school! There isn’t like anything fun you can do in 10 minutes, is there?

I was sitting next to these girls, and I had bite my tongue from saying "Oh trust me, honey, there are so many things you can do in 10 minutes – some can even do it twice in that timeframe!"

Saw on my way to work this morning:

Some micro car taking on a State Transit bus at the intersection of Phillip Street and Bridge Street. The tiny silver 2 door hatch was turning right from the north end of Phillip Street into Bridge Street, and the P-plated female driver must have thought the massive blue Mercedes speeding north along Phillip Street to make the lights and cross over Bridge Street would stop and give way to her.

Wrong!

For a few heart stopping moments, I thought the bus was going to flatten the teeny weeny car. Luckily for the silly female, the bus driver’s lightening quick reflexes as well as the good brakes on the bus prevented a massive tangle of metal being created.

Here’s the bit that got me – the bus driver was probably wondering if one of his colleague had a spare pair of pants he could borrow to wear for the rest of the day after the incident, while the stupid female and her equally idiotic passenger continued singing without a care in the car after the near mishap.

Discovered at work today:

The notoriously difficult female who wrangled and fought her way onto a committee cannot attend the committee meeting tomorrow, after confirming she was available to attend.

Why, why, why would one bitch and moan about wanting to come to the meetings, and bitch and moan when the meetings are cancelled due to lack of agenda items, then bitch and moan some more for whatever reason, to only then forget one had confirmed one’s availability to attend tomorrow’s meeting?

Argh!

I wanted to drop this stupid female from all future meetings as there are others more willing and able to attend in her place, but was told in no uncertain terms I could not, as she is best friends with the Chief. Groan. I’m so not looking forward to seeing her again.

Also at work today:

Panicky older female refusing to comprehend she is no longer part of a process.

Said female was once an integral part of a submission process for which I have been tasked with improving for the past 6 months. The new and improved process includes a requirement for the regional teams to consult with her prior to submitting the proposals to my team. If the regional teams felt there was no need to consult with her, then that is their call. Previously, the teams did not cosult with her, and it was left to my team to do the consultation after the proposals were submitted. The old process proved to be less than successful in dealing with issues that may impact on the success of the submission, hence the new process was designed and implemented almost a month ago. The new process also falls in line with the new State regulations relating to the submissions.

Unfortunately, this female has steadfastly refused to adopt the new process, and every week, she calls to hound me for information that she feels still requires her input.

Today was no exception.

I have spoken to her more times than I care to count about this – and I’ve tried to tell her gently at first, and later as firmly as I could in my nicest voice that if she had not been consulted, that meant the regional teams did not feel her feedback was important enough to warrant a consultation. My boss has spoken to her on numerous occasions as well, trying to push the same point across, but to no avail. She refuses to comprehend that she is not really part of the process any more.

Today, I had to go through the whole rigmarole with her again. That’s 20 minutes of my life I’m never getting back.

Oh, bring on Quittin’ Time! I’m so ready for today to be over!

Boo, KFC, Boo!!!

Mood: Gulp!!!

Oh, KFC, what were you thinking???

You were doing such a good job 2 months ago, when you announced that you would be replacing the "bad oil" you use to cook your chicken to the good stuff that is slightly healthier for us punters who love your deep fried chicken.

But you had to go and wreck your sparkly new sheen with a new product that has found its way into the Food Hall of Shame, aka This Is Why You’re Fat, where dreams become heart attacks.

Boo, KFC. Boo!

NEW BURGER HAS FRIED CHICKEN ‘BUN’
12:30 AEST Fri Aug 21 2009
By Jay Savage, ninemsn

A new KFC monster burger that uses two slabs of fried chicken in place of bread buns has gone on sale in the US to the dismay of nutrition experts.

The "Double Down Chicken Sandwich" contains two slices of bacon, pepper jack cheese, swiss cheese and sauce, wrapped between two fillets of chicken.

A television advertising campaign bills the US$4.99 ($6.00) Double Down as "so much 100 percent premium chicken, we didn’t have room for a bun".

A spokesman for the Australian arm of KFC did not rule out the burger being sold locally in the future.

Ninemsn contacted a KFC store in Omaha, Nebraska, where an employee said sales of the Double Down had exceeded expectations.

But the burger, which does not appear on KFC’s official website, has raised the ire of health experts.

"The world does not need [these burgers]," top Australian nutritionist Dr Rosemary Stanton said.

"These sorts of burgers have become a rite of passage for kids and young men … but pity about your arteries, your waistline and your chin."

Burgers such as the Double Down made a mockery of fast food chains’ persistent claims to provide healthy and balanced menus, Dr Stanton said.

Online food forums have been flooded with both criticism and support for the burger.

"Wow, I couldn’t believe that American fast food has sunk this low," wrote one person on foodgeekery.com.

But another wrote: "Oh … oh my God. That is the best thing ever."

"I don’t know what ‘Colonel’s Sauce’ is, but it is like a party in my mouth."

Another person said he recently received an invitation to complete an online survey on the Double Down in exchange for US$10 KFC voucher.

KFC in Australia today issued a statement saying "we don’t have this product in our plans at present".

Some Moolah For Ya Sky Rocket?

Mood: Quietly Giggling

I found this hilarious article, which shows ATMs in London turning the task of withdrawing money into fun and games.

Wonder what the ATM would say if you had "insufficient cash" in your account to complete the transaction? Perhaps Eddie Murphy’s voice booming from the speakers with "You got no ice cream, you got no ice cream, you got no ice cream, you didn’t get none, ’cause you are on the welfare, on the welfare…and you daddy’s an alcoholic. Want some?…Psych!"

LONDON CASH MACHINES OFFER COCKNEY SLANG OPTION
August 25, 2009 | smh.com.au

Would you Adam and Eve it? Cash machines in east London are offering customers the option of using the local Cockney rhyming slang to get their hands on their sausage, so to speak.

Five automated teller machines (ATMs) in the East End are going Cockney for three months from Monday.

While cash machines with several language options are commonplace in some countries, the chance to use rhyming slang could leave those unfamiliar with the east London lingo in a right load of Barney Rubble.

Anyone opting for Cockney rhyming slang will be asked to enter their Huckleberry Finn (PIN) before chosing how much sausage and mash (cash) they want.

Those wanting to withdraw 10 pounds will have to ask for a speckled hen, while the machine may inform users that it is contacting their rattle and tank, rather than bank.

"We wanted to introduce something fun and of local interest to our London machines," said Ron Delnevo, managing director of operators Bank Machine.

"Whilst we expect some residents will visit the machine to just have a butcher’s hook (look), most will be genuinely pleased as this is the first time a financial services provider will have recognised the Cockney language in such a manner."

The ATMs displaying prompts in Cockney are all free to use, though most of the group’s cash machines charge a fee.

Better-known Cockney rhyming slang includes dog and bone (phone), apples and pears (stairs), whistle and flute (suit), Adam and Eve (believe), Barnet Fair (hair), trouble and strife (wife), loaf of bread (head) and boat race (face).

— AFP

New York, New York!!!

Mood: Singing "New York, New York!"

Start spreading the news. We’re leaving on Halloween. We want to be a part of it, New York, New York!!! My gorgeous man and me are longing to stray right through the very heart of it – New York, New York!!! We want to wake up in a city that never sleeps, and find we’re king (and queen) of the hill; top of the heap!

Yes, folks, J and I have paid for our trip to New York! Woo hoo!

We fly out of Sydney on the morning of 31 October, and land in NYC around 5pm on the same day. 31 October is also known as Halloween, and from what the little I know, the Yanks are almost fanatical about celebrating this occasion. We can’t wait to be part of the festivities!

We’ll be flying with Qantas – most direct flight at the most reasonable price. We still have to get off the plane and be cavity searched at Los Angeles, but then we get back on the same plane from the same terminal to continue our journey to New York.

We’ll be staying at the Manhattan Broadway Hotel – right in the heart of everything – we’re told by people who have been to NYC that it is very centrally located, putting us not far from all the tourist-y places we must explore while we are there.

I’m so excited by this trip! We paid for the tickets on Saturday and felt our heads spin with excitement, and today, when I hit the "Book" button for the hotel and handed over our credit card details, I held my breath, and only let it out again when I saw the confirmation notification. The head spins started then!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! We are going to New York!!! We are going to New York!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

What A Sticky Mess!

Mood: Yikes!!!

A few days ago, the below story caught my eye as I was doing my usual trawl through the headlines. I thought it was a hilarious story, and served well as a warning to would-be cheaters – that there are some real nut jobs out there who will take revenge to a whole new level.

Hilarious that this story proves Krazy Glue’s claim that it is super strong and fast drying, works best on smaller surfaces and can instantly bond anything!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Poor bugger – he now knows what Hell feels like – times 4!

CHEATING HUSBAND’S GENITALS GLUED TO HIS STOMACH
August 4, 2009 – 10:57AM | smh.com.au

Three US women who had affairs with a married man are accused of luring him to a motel where, joined by the man’s wife, they tied him up and applied Krazy Glue to his private parts.

Therese Ziemann invited the man to a Wisconsin motel on Thursday, tied him up, promised a massage and then sent text messages to the other women, Calumet County prosecutors said.

Once all the women were there, they confronted him about his infidelity, police say.

Ziemann punched him in the face and glued his penis to his stomach with Krazy Glue, according to the criminal complaint.

The women fled the motel when the man started screaming, officials said.

Charged with false imprisonment are Ziemann, 48, of Menasha, Wisconsin; Michelle Belliveau, 43, of Neenah, Wisconsin; Wendy Sewell, 43, of Kaukauna; and the man’s wife.

The women are free on bail of $US200 each.

— AP

After not thinking much more about this since I read the article, I came across the below article yesterday, which has made this whole sticky mess even messier.

TALE OF STICKY REVENGE TAKES A TWIST
August 6, 2009 – 7:39AM | smh.com.au

A US man who prosecutors say was tied up, humiliated and had his penis glued to his stomach by his wife and three other women has been jailed on accusations of child abuse and other misdeeds.

The 36-year-old Wisconsin man was arrested on allegations that also include theft, unlawful phone use and harassment with a death threat in a domestic abuse investigation, Fond du Lac Police Captain Steve Klein said on Wednesday.

"It is a case that keeps getting stranger," Klein said. "More information will come out in the (charging) complaint."

No charges were filed on Wednesday. Fond du Lac County Assistant District Attorney Devra Ayala did not immediately return a telephone message seeking comment.

Four women, including the man’s wife and two women alleged to be his lovers, are accused of luring the man to a hotel room in Stockbridge last Thursday before tying him up, blindfolding him and gluing his penis to his stomach. Each is charged with being party to false imprisonment, a felony, and one is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanour.

The women are free on $US200 ($237) bail. Therese Ziemann, Wendy Sewell and Michelle Belliveau are scheduled to make a court appearance in Calumet County on Monday. The man’s wife returns to court on August 17.

Klein said the man was arrested on Tuesday in Chilton, where he had been staying in a motel, after a complaint was filed with the Fond du Lac Police Department.

The child abuse allegation involves one of his children, Klein said. He would not say whether one of the women involved in the Stockbridge incident made the complaint that led to his arrest.

The man declined a request to be interviewed, said Sheriff’s Sergeant Amy Schoepke at the Fond du Lac County Jail.

— AP

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! Indeed!!!