Monthly Archives: May 2009

Bogan FAIL

Mood: So Embarrassed!

SHOOTING WITNESS SLAPPER BECOMES INTERNET CELEBRITY
12:30 AEST Wed May 20 2009
By Jack Hawke, ninemsn

A witness to a wild shooting in Sydney early Sunday has become an overnight internet sensation — so much so, she has engaged a PR representative to deal with the flood of media interest.

Clare Werbeloff Bogus Bogan found fame online after giving her politically-incorrect eyewitness account of a Kings Cross shooting to Nine News.

The resulting public attention has apparently been so overwhelming for the 19-year-old from Sydney’s northern beaches that’s she’s been forced to turn to a PR agency to manage her.

"She’s been inundated with calls this morning," spokesman Adam Abrams told ninemsn this afternoon.

"We will be releasing a statement tomorrow."

At around 3am on Sunday morning, a man in his 20s was shot twice in the leg outside a strip club on Darlinghurst Road at Kings Cross. (Read more: Man shot twice in Kings Cross attack)

Overnight TV camera crews sought out witnesses and it was Clare’s Buffoon’s frank description of two men who began the argument that pushed the story into the stratosphere.

"There were these two wogs fighting," she told Nine News.

"The fatter wog said to the skinnier wog, ‘Oi bro, you slept with my cousin’.

"And the other one said ‘Nah man, I didn’t for s***, eh’ and the other one goes, ‘I will call on my fully sick boys, eh’. "And then [he] pulled out a gun and went [gun-cocking sound "chk chk"] BOOM. "

The shooter, who was wearing a black hooded top and jeans, fled police on foot while the victim was taken to St Vincent’s Hospital in a stable condition.

Her video interview attracted more than 100,000 views, a Facebook fan group with over 1800 members has appeared and even t-shirts featuring Clare Idiot quotes are available online.

The group, "Clare Dimwit the Kings Cross bogan fan club", has spawned internet memes such as ironic motivational posters featuring the young woman and two other people interviewed on the night.

Forums are abuzz with threads on the video, and bloggers have been posting the video attached to their commentary on the event.

Updated 25/05/2009 @ 15:51

Stupid is as stupid does, bogus bogan.

Double Trouble

Mood: Oops!

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives. How Sammy and Lucas and EJ!!!

Classic. My question is: how will the mother explain this one to the kids? "Your daddy and I love each other, but I loved the rumpy pumpy more, and got twice as much as I bargained for. But know that we love you both just as much as the other, bastard child and ours." That’s one famly meeting I’d rather miss – can anyone spell "awkward moment"?

TWINS HAVE TWO DIFFERENT FATHERS
06:30 AEST Tue May 19 2009
By ninemsn staff

A US mother had some explaining to do after DNA tests revealed her twin boys have different fathers.

Mia Washington, from Texas, and her partner James Harrison sought medical advice when they realised their 11-month-old twins Justin and Jordan had different facial features.

Doctors in the DNA lab in Dallas said the paternity test revealed a 99.99 percent chance the twins had different fathers.

"I’m very shocked," Ms Washington said.

"Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me," she was quoted as saying by Fox News.

Two eggs had been fertilised by two different sperm in a rare occurrence called heteropaternal superfecundation.

There are only a handful of known cases in the world.

The medical marvel can happen when a woman releases multiple eggs during ovulation and has more than one sexual partner within the same time period.

Ms Washington later admitted she had an affair that resulted in two babies, born at the same time, fathered by two different men.

The infidelity would have occurred within two days.

"Most people don’t believe it can happen, but it can," Clear Diagnostics president Genny Thibodeaux said.

"I’m trying to let everybody else know," Ms Washington was quoted as saying.

"Don’t put yourself in my shoes, because it can hurt and it does hurt, but you still have to go on with life," she said.

Ms Washington said she will tell the boys the whole story when they are old enough to understand.

But she has no plans to tell the other father, who remains unnamed.

Mother’s Day 2009

Mood: Happy

After all the grief that I went through with Mum’s gift delivery, the cut fruit arrangement eventually arrived safely at Mum’s place on Saturday morning at 9.30am. Mum was quite thrilled and called me immediately to thank me and J.

RH’s fruit basket arrived safely at J’s parents’ place as well, on Friday as ordered. MH took a photo of the basket and made sure RH saw what we got her, and in return, she sent us a really lovely and touching message. I’m really looking forward to meeting MH and RH at the end of August.

Because RH is likely to be away for another 2 weeks, MH is going to enjoy what fruits need to be eaten before they go all squishy and rotten. When J asked MH whether RH is likely to be able to get home in time to enjoy the gift, MH replied "Some won’t last until then. Yum."


Mum’s Aloha Delight

RH’s Orchard Fruits

We had a lovely day yesterday. I went to church with Mum in the morning, before meeting up with Penny and Robin and Megan for some yum cha in Chatswood. Even with my "connections", we were still really lucky to get a table after waiting 30 minutes – the restaurant was so packed with people yesterday as everyone wanted to take their mothers out for yum cha!

After lunch, J and Miss M and I went for a small shopping expedition to Target for some winter pyjamas for Miss M. There were a number of choices, and after much deliberation, Miss M chose a really cute set of Dora the Explorer pyjamas. We checked our watches and realised it was time to take Miss M home, so she and JX and JX’s family could prepare for a special Mother’s Day meal. We stopped by the bakery and picked up a few treats for JX – our Mother’s Day gift to her.

Miss M had a little nap in the car on the way to her house, so she was bright and chirpy enough when we dropped her off. No tears and smiles all round, making yesterday’s handover quite easy. It also helped that S, JX’s new boyfriend of 2 months was there. Miss M seems quite taken with S, as was evidenced by her running towards him the minute we let her out of the car.

From JX and Miss M’s place, we headed to the supermarket for a few bits and bobs, mostly for dinner for this week. Time flies when one is having fun, and before we knew it, it was time to race over to my parents’ place for dinner.

Dinner with the fam is always lovely. It was a pity that Georgianna’s family couldn’t make it with the boys both being ill, but we still had a lovely time with Grace’s family. Renée and Kiran are gorgeous little things and I had fun playing with both of them last night.

Mum saved her Aloha Delight to share with everyone, so after dinner, we all tucked into the fresh strawberries, rockmelon, honeydew melon and pineapple pieces. Grace brought some chocolate cupcakes along, which went very nicely with the sweet fruit.

With Mother’s Day for 2009 now officially over, I need to start thinking of something to give Mum for next year. What does one get for someone who has everything?

Mother’s Day Gift Delivery: NZ 1 v AUS 0

Mood: Huh???

It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday, in both Australia and New Zealand. This year, with J’s blessings, I decided to order things for both our mothers, to be delivered to their doorsteps today.

I had really wanted to get something for J’s mum RH. Even though J keeps insisting that his family is not too fussed on gifts on special occasions, I still wanted to do something because my family and I are very much into special occasions and gifts. After lengthy discussions, we decided to get some fresh fruit delivered to RH. At the same time, we agreed to do something similar for my mum.

It took me ages to find a supplier in New Zealand near J’s parents place that would deliver fruit to their house. J’s parents live in "rural Auckland", and whilst there were a number of suppliers in Auckland that would deliver fruit baskets, only a small handful would do it for "rural Auckland" at a reasonable price. I finally settled on a company called Bestow Gifts, and selected the medium sized Orchard Fruits arrangement.

Meanwhile, for my mother, I decided to go with Edible Blooms. Emily and I had bought each other things from this mob before, and I loved the arrangements I’d received, so I chose them to get a fruit arrangement.

One could be forgiven for assuming the process of purchasing something from an overseas supplier to be delivered to an overseas address on time would be a drawn out dreadful process. One could also be forgiven for assuming that ordering something from a local supplier to be delivered to a local address would be easy and painless, especially if one has used the local supplier on several occasions and never had any problems with them.

But then, one would be assuming, and to assume is to make an ass out of you and me.

The gift for RH was ordered, paid for, and delivered without a hitch. The only hitch we encountered was that RH would be in Christchurch with J’s grandmother, many many hours and almost the length of the country away from the gift. J wasn’t aware his mum would be visiting his grandmother – if we’d known, we would have had the gift sent to Christchurch. Never mind – J’s dad MH will enjoy the gift on RH’s behalf.

Unfortunately, the gift for my mother has turned into an epic FAIL. After careful consideration, I placed an order for the small sized Aloha Delight to be delivered to my mum’s place today. After placing the order (a step I had to repeat 4 times after my details kept disappearing from the page), with very specific delivery instructions, I received a tax invoice that omitted every detail I had carefully typed into the box whilst placing my order.

I called Edible Blooms, and spoke with a girl called Ashley, and gave her the specific delivery instructions, stating that the delivery must be made by 11am today. My folks have daily afternoon commitments for which they leave their home at 11.30am, so if the delivery was made after 11am, there’d be no one at home to receive the delivery, and there was nowhere safe for the delivery to be left either. Ashley assured me that she would include those details in my order and that the gift would be delivered on time.

I was expecting my mother to call me when the delivery was made – after all, she would have spent a few seconds chastising me for "wasting my money" on a gift for her, all the while chuffed that I went to the effort of organising something. So when I had heard nothing by midday, I started to worry that the delivery guy was late and the cut fruit arrangement was left to rot somewhere in my parents’ apartment complex.

I went back to my emails to find the link to track my order, only to find that no such link was provided in the confirmation email. So at 12.30pm, I called Edible Blooms, and Ashley answered the phone. I asked about my order, and Ashley said that the courier was about to pick up the northern Sydney orders and they would be delivered shortly. At this point, I blew up. I all but accused her of lying to me in our previous conversation, when I last spoke with her and left her instructions, and she had promised she would do everything to meet those instructions. Ashley was very apologetic, and then told me she was one of two girls called Ashley in the office, and I must have spoken with the other Ashley.

Whatever. I don’t really care any more. They had missed the deadline and I wanted something done about it.

In the end, Ashley II promised to prioritise my order for tomorrow’s delivery, and do everything in her power to have the arrangement delivered by 11am. She also said she would call me later in the day to confirm.

No phone call by 4.30pm, and I was getting antsy. So I placed a call to Ashley II, only to be met by an answering machine. I left a detailed message and hoped I would get a call back.

By 5pm (the stated close of business), I still hadn’t received a call, so I called again. Ashley II was again apologetic and told me that the gift would be delivered to my mother between 9am and 10am tomorrow. Here’s hoping it arrives in one piece!

Who would have thought ordering something for delivery to rural NZ would be MUCH easier than ordering from a Sydney CBD supplier for delivery to a location less than 20km away?!

The 200 Bus & The Fat Controller

Mood: GRRRRRR!!!

I like catching buses. Of all the modes of public transport, the bus is my favourite. As a matter of fact, I will go out of my way to avoid all other modes if buses will get me to my destination.

I have reasons for liking buses over other forms of public transport. The people who use buses are generally friendly and polite, you can only cram so many people on to a bus before the bus driver deems the bus to be full, and more often than not, the buses are air conditioned, clean and comfortable.

I have also had some bad experiences with trains. I was yelled at by fellow passengers for no reason, squashed like a sardine almost unable to breathe because there is seemingly no limit as to how many people could fit into a train carriage, and almost fainted from heat exhaustion inside steaming hot carriages with sealed windows and no air flow on piping hot days. And don’t even get me started on cleanliness (or lack of) inside the train carriages.

So it was with utter disgust that I had to witness an incident on my bus this morning that almost made me re-evaluate how I would be getting to work in future.

The bus I catch to work is the wonderful 200 express bus that runs between Chatswood Station and Bondi Junction. I have been catching this bus on and off for the past 5 years with very few not-so-happy experiences (like the times when the buses have failed to arrive for whatever reason). I like this bus because it is usually air conditioned and clean, and I can usually get a seat at any time of the day. There are a large number of regulars who are of the same opinion as me, who I see almost every day of the week.

One of my fellow passengers is a loud man who alights the bus just outside North Sydney Girls High (2 stops after my stop). A pudgy looking man, he has a flamboyant style about him and I’ve often seen (and heard) him talk to fellow passengers in an outlandishly animated way. Most of all, his features remind me of Sir Topham Hatt, aka The Fat Controller from Thomas the Tank Engine.

I have never really got a good vibe about this arrogant little man. First impressions matter and he certainly did not make a good one with me. I have had the distinct misfortune of sharing a seat with him, where he sat at an angle and crossed his short legs, and leaned back into me like I was a seat cushion. Admittedly, I had never spoken to him in my life, but from what I’d seen (and heard), he appeared to be a shallow little man with a nasty streak. And today, my instincts proved correct.

This morning’s bus was packed to the rafters. I was running late, and ended up on a slightly later bus than usual. There weren’t that many seats available when I first got on the bus, so I counted myself lucky to get a seat at all. The bus driver let in as many North Sydney Girls as he could, so we were jam packed as we headed towards North Sydney.

At the NSGH stop, the students poured out of the bus, and in came The Fat Controller and his fellow passengers, one of whom was a middle-aged lady with a few heavy looking bags. At the front of the bus sat a mother with her young primary-school-aged son, who would have been getting off at the next stop anyway (the kid was wearing a school uniform that belonged to the school at the next stop). The Fat Controller got on the bus before the middle-aged lady, and as he did, he told the mother her son should stand for the lady with the bags.

As he said this, the Fat Controller walked to the next row of seats, and sat down in the last seat available.

To say the mother got upset is an understatement. And boy did she blow up at the Fat Controller.

The mother launched into the Fat Controller, saying that he had no right to speak to her the way he did, and that the lady herself had not asked to sit down. The mother said had the lady asked for the seat herself, she would have stood up and given up her seat. The fact that the Fat Controller took it upon himself to ruin the day for the mother and son was too much for the mother to handle. She screamed and ranted at the Fat Controller, and unfortunately for her, the only time that the entire bus heard the incident was when she started screaming. The sympathy was misdirected to the Fat Controller, making him look like the hero in every right, when it was him who stirred up the hornets’ nest in the first place.

I felt so sorry for the mother. But I was too scared to say anything loudly. The only "chicken" thing I did was to say in a loud whisper directed at the Fat Controller, "YOU could have stood up for the lady". In my head, I was screaming all sorts of things at him.

I wanted to say to him, "Wow, how chivalrous of you to give up your seat for the lady. Oh, wait, you didn’t. So instead, you’re doing the real man thing and pick on a woman and a child. What a hero to do such a thing. If you want to appear like a real hero, get up off your fat ass and let someone else sit down, instead of pontificating to others whilst seated. Who died and made you the Fat Controller anyway?"

The mother’s subsequent behaviour left a lot to be desired. She ran after the bus and pounded on the window after she and her son got off the bus. Scared the daylights out of everyone, including the Fat Controller, but by this time, everyone on the bus was siding with him. Everyone except for me. Oh, how I simmered and wanted to say something at him. If I wasn’t running so late, I would have hurled my abuse and got off the bus in disgust to make my point.

I am going to make a huge effort to not be on the same bus as him in the future. Seeing the Fat Controller’s face will just leave a foul taste in my mouth that I will carry around all day. Jerk!