It’s been ages since I’ve blogged. I’ve been pretty busy with work, but more importantly, I’ve been busy with life.
Things are travelling well with work. Although I am still in the same job and feeling like I’m not adding any more value to the project, I am continuing to work hard and make good contributions. So far, my work has been applauded by the right people, which is awesome.
I have also just been through what was historically a very stressful time of the year – the weeks in which all of our performance appraisals must be completed.
This time last year, I was stressed to the max about my performance appraisal – I was fighting for a promotion and my gut feeling told me that it would be an uphill battle. Every time I thought about the appraisal process, my stomach would twist into horrible knots and I would feel the tears prickling behind my eyelids. I was so stressed about it I would make myself physically ill. The night before my review last year, I threw up until I had nothing left in my stomach. Needless to say, I did not sleep a wink that night, and the fatigue saw me bawling my eyes out in the shower for about 45 minutes before I could compose myself enough to get dressed and go to work.
By the scheduled time of my appraisal meeting, I was so tightly wound that the slightest motion would have snapped me in half. I sat in the meeting, recalling all of my achievements over the previous 12-month period, touting my hard work and tooting my own horn. I had hoped it would be enough for a promotion. At that point, all I wanted was the title and to be recognised for my above and beyond contribution to the company. I didn’t even care if they didn’t give me a pay rise – I just wanted the damn title.
To my horror, all of my achievements were deemed "not quite relevant to our line of work" and were therefore promptly discounted from the appraisal. Whilst I did a great job keeping the client happy (so much so that I had turned a 6-week assignment into an ongoing contract that had spanned 13 months by that point), I may as well have sat on my hands doing and learning nothing for that same period of time as far as my manager was concerned.
Needless to say, I didn’t get the promotion, and upon being told the above, the floodgates opened and I began to sob in that heaving, can’t-catch-my-breath way. It was all I could do to not howl to the moon.
Back to the present. This year’s appraisal went far better than I expected. I knew I had performed satisfactorily over the past 12 months, and whilst I wasn’t pushing for a promotion, I am still hoping for a decent pay rise. Regardless, the meeting went very well, with my new branch manager and my career manager both complimenting my efforts and encouraging me to continue the good work. We didn’t talk salary nor training prospects – there will be two follow up discussions to deal with these matters. If there is a whinge, then it is the fact that the whole process was broken down to 3 steps without consultation with the staff first. I would have preferred for the whole thing to be over and done with in the one sitting. But hey, it gives me more time to think about what kind of pay rise I want to ask for, which is always good.
My current project is still trucking along, with a new phase of work to hopefully begin shortly. In my appraisal, I noted that I felt stagnant as my role had become admin based; I wasn’t learning anything new and I wanted more challenges. Straight away, I was included in a couple of project proposals submitted to potential clients – I’m hoping one of these projects will come through, which may see me based on site in a CBD office.
I have been doing a little bit of work with a new project director to our division, which has been lovely. Such a nice man and so knowledgeable – I hope I can work more closely with him in the near future.
So, after all that’s been said, I’m giving this company another 12 months of my time. I have a new branch manager and a new project director, who have some really fantastic ideas to grow the NSW branch as well as the whole division nationally. I’m keen to see how things will progress under their leadership – here’s hoping the change is good – then again, it couldn’t be any worse than before, could it?
Life (away from work) has been dealing me a very fair hand. My family is wonderful and my man is gorgeous. My little ones are getting bigger by the day – it’s my niece Renée’s 4th birthday today. I can’t believe how quickly time has flown – it felt like only yesterday I was meeting the first Chan baby for the first time.
We are having a family birthday party tonight to celebrate the occasion. I am looking forward to seeing everyone together in the same room – it’s been weeks since we have all been together for a meal.
J and I are going from strength to strength. I am still surprised and amazed about how well things are going between us – mostly because I’m so used to dating assholes, bastards and jerks that I keep waiting for the jerky bits to float to the surface. Either he has no jerky bits, or he has had all the jerk kicked out of him – things between us are so far, so good.
We had a "moment" earlier today, when he wanted me to reassure him that I have a life away from him. For some reason, he was worried that some of his solitude characteristics were rubbing off on me and that I would stop seeing my friends and rely on him solely for social contact. He was worried that our relationship would not stand the test of time if I didn’t have a life outside of us, as one of the factors of his marriage breakdown was due to JX having no friends and no desire for social contact away from J.
I was a bit confused – considering how many friends I have and how much I enjoy being with my friends, there was never a doubt that I would ever turn into a hermit. So I reassured him that I do and will spend time with my wide circle of friends, and that made him feel a little bit more at ease.
J is talking long term with me. That makes me very happy. I ♥ my J.
In the meantime, I’ve been developing my relationship with Miss M. She is such a terrific little girl – so cute and so smart, and always so funny. On Sunday, when we all spent the day together, she was heard by Daddy to be singing "I love Gloria, I love Gloria". I am seriously falling in love with Miss M.
Wow – look at the time. I need to dash home to wrap my big girl’s birthday presents. Yay for birthday parties!