Mood: A Little Bit Chirpier
I was in need of some cheering up today, and it came in the form of an email from my mate Cameron, about a spoilt brat who undoubtedly will end up subsisting on a lifestyle funded by the taxpayer.
To recap the unsavoury incident in mid-January this year, the moron held a party at home while his parents were away on holidays. What was initially described as a lame-o affair soon turned into a free-for-all when neighbouring parties were broken up and about 500 people in search of a good time descended on the little twat’s bash. The cops were called after the gatecrashers began trashing the party venue as well as taking to task his neighbours’ properties along the street.
After racking up $50,000 of time between the various different police squads who rocked up to restore calm, the unrepentant scumbag chose to ride the 15-minutes-of-fame crest and went about profiteering from his act of stupidity. Appearing on various current affairs and radio shows, he steadfastly refused to apologise to his terrified neighbours and continued to thumb his nose at authority figures, to the point of temporarily severing his ties with his parents.
In what can only be described as "slow news week", the news of the rowdy gathering made headlines domestically and internationally, even appearing on the CNN.com website. Teenagers globally declared him a legend as snippets of his laughable interview on ACA with a cringe-worthy tut-tutting schoolmarm Leila McKinnon became the most watched YouTube video for a short period of time, thus transcending him to a place where few would and should aspire – the poster child for white trash.
Now being represented by a renowned media sleazebag, the guttersnipe is rumoured to be raking in the cash with several offers to host parties in Australia. Desperate to make the most of his infamy, he went as far as to stage his own bashing to gain further notoriety.
Back when this story made headlines around the world, I withheld blogging about the little turd because he was already getting enough media coverage for being, well, a little turd.
In the ensuing weeks, a number of pearlers in relation to the oxygen thief have arrived in my inbox, courtesy of Cameron. First, there was the Slap Corey game, and trust me when I say it is very therapeutic to slap the trollop.
Then there was the email noting the "biggest things" in the world – the tallest building, the longest bridge, the biggest swimming pool, etc. Listed next to "The World’s Biggest Tool" – the aforementioned joker.
Today’s was the best one of all – see below.