Jager Bombs & Maxolon

Mood: Still Seedy

I was a bit naughty on the weekend. And I learned 2 very important lessons: Maxolon is a wonderful drug, and Jager Bombs are evil.

In light of my imminent overseas holiday, I should really have been saving my pennies to spend on my 3rd holiday for the year. But, instead of taking it easy after an early mark from my training course, I ended up going for a few drinks with a work buddy at our local pub.

How did I get to the point of no return? I have limited excuses – my week was long but not overly taxing: I was on a 2-day off-site training course which turned out to be fairly intense in a good way, and in my 3 days in the office, no one had done anything out of the ordinary to irk me more than usual. Maybe it’s just that time of the year, or maybe it was the weather. Yeah, what the hell, let’s just blame it on the rain.

I had originally planned to drink with Vanora on Friday night. It was to be a relatively quiet affair in the city for Vanora to blow off some steam of her own. As the day wore on, the idea of drinking at all was becoming less and less attractive as I was getting more and more tired, and I pulled the plug on the drinks with Vanora late in the piece. Vanora and I had planned to go to Megan A’s play in Darlinghurst on Saturday night, which helped to ease my guilty feelings of canning the drinks ever so slightly.

I had intended to have a quiet evening, but somehow, I found myself at the Crows Nest Hotel with my new BFF at work for more than just one drink. For about 6 weeks, Aaron and I had been planning to have a drink and a boogie at the Crowie, and Friday night turned out to be a massive, messy night.

Needless to say, a couple of beers led to a couple of CC and dries, which led to a few Jager Bombs, which led to a couple more CC and dries, and a couple more Jager Bombs before switching to water – well and truly too late to be drinking water by that point anyway.

To make the evening more fun, I ran into Suz who was at the pub with her netball team. More drinking ensued with Suz, thanks to Aaron who kept buying the damn drinks.

The details are a little sketchy towards the wee hours of Friday and the early hours of Saturday. The bits and pieces I remember are:

* Dancing with Aaron on the packed dance floor;
* Trying to get a massive Maori man to dance with me;
* Bumping into an old soccer buddy Junior who had to grab me twice before I finally noticed him;
* Telling Aaron I was going to the bathroom, returning a few minutes later to find Aaron had pulled a Keyser Söze;
* Calling Aaron to find that he had indeed pull a Keyser Söze and he was well and truly at home;
* Finding Suz and telling her to stay put while I looked for Junior to bid him farewell;
* Losing Suz when I returned to our meeting point after a 10-minute futile search for Junior;
* Finding Junior’s mates and screaming at them about needing to find Junior;
* Finding Junior and getting a bear hug;
* Stumbling into a taxi and seeing "2:10" on the dashboard clock.

The party purging started around 6am. The first trip was fairly standard. The second trip was on par with my previous party purging experiences. The third trip was slightly out of the ordinary, but not of any great concern. However, the fourth and subsequent trips were completely out of pattern and caused a great deal of worry from my still fuzzy mind. When it became apparent that my body was out of control and the party purges were occurring every 30 minutes, I decided it was time to see a professional.

The doctor was good – he didn’t ask and I didn’t tell. I must have looked like death warmed up and was pitifully begging him to stop my party purges. He went to his drugs room and came back with some Maxolon, which he quickly injected into my arm and sent me back to my bed.

What a wonderful drug. No more party purges. I slept until 5pm and even though I was still feeling very, very fragile, there were definitely no more jolts in my stomach. Better yet, I was actually feeling hungry.

This is one experience I do not ever want to repeat. I have no intention of visiting my doctor for another shot of Maxolon, and there is no way I will be drinking any more Jager Bombs – ever.


* Aaron woke up on the floor of his living room surrounded by the remnants of 3 pies. He does not remember buying the pies nor eating the pies, nor does he remember talking to me on the phone. And he certainly doesn’t remember how it came to being that he passed out on the living room floor. Aaron woke without a hangover and backed up with another major party in Canberra on Saturday night.

* Suz too had a little party purge – hers took place shortly after she got home and she was feeling a little fragile the next day. Suz also backed up on Saturday night.

* The play (called "Angry Young Women In Low-Rise Jeans With High-Class Issues") was awesome, as was the scrumptious Thai dinner that preceded the play.


2 responses to “Jager Bombs & Maxolon

  1. Oh sweetie – that kind of wiping yourself out is BADDDDDD 

  2. Twas so unintentional … and the more I think about it, the more I think there may have been some additives in my drinks …

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