Judge Sauer, You Deserve A Medal!!

All hail Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer. You have restored my faith that all law breakers should be treated equally, no matter how much they think they may be above the law.

For those of you living on Planet Zero Hilton, here’s a recap on how Paris Hilton wound up in jail. After reporting for jail on June 5, she was released 3 days later by the Sheriff’s Office to home detention for the remainder of her 23 day sentence, on the advice of a psychologist who claimed Hilton was "on the brink of a nervous breakdown".

There was one problem – someone forgot to ask the judge if it was OK to release Hilton.

Only Judge Sauer was allowed to grant Hilton’s release, or change her incarceration details. The Sheriff’s Office did not have the power to let Hilton go home. So, yesterday, the court sent around a car to Hilton’s family mansion and took her away in handcuffs. As per her previous appearance in court, she was again late. And the judge threw the book at her.

Judge Sauer ordered Hilton to go back to jail. Throughout the hearing, he told Hilton’s lawyers that he had not received the papers stating Hilton was medically unfit to serve her time in jail, which was the Hilton camp’s main defence in trying the keep their client from returning to the slammer.

Judge Sauer also ordered her to serve out her original 45-day sentence, not 23 days as the sentence was reduced to.

Hip hip hooray! Finally! Someone who doesn’t care about Hilton’s infamy or wealth!

In any case, the insufferable attention seeker has not returned to jail – she is being held in a special section of the Twin Towers Correctional Facility "under medical surveillance". For someone who said she wanted to be treated like everyone else, she is certainly getting a lot of special treatment!

Buck up and serve the time, you imbecilic skanky ho. Stop wasting everyone’s time and face up to the consequences of your unthinking actions.

Judge Sauer, thank goodness you have the wits about you to uphold the law. You deserve a medal, a Hollywood Walk of Fame star, your own talk show, and a public holiday declared in your honour. I’ll start petitioning the Governator about these accolades.

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4 responses to “Judge Sauer, You Deserve A Medal!!

  1. I am over the daily updates on how jailis going!

  2. Ooooh, i have had an entertaining day of "work" already!

  3. That is my fave picture of Paris EVER!

  4. Dude, mine too!! 🙂

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